Sometimes it's okay to blame others

It's usually not the best thing for your career, or even in school, to point fingers. Typically, we all own a little bit of whatever it was that happened. Maybe your group project got a bad grade or was late. It may not have been your fault, but you were part of the group, and so you just share some of the responsibility. After all, wasn't there something you could have done to pick up the slack or get the others in the group headed in the right direction?

Most of the time, your boss would rather hear you take responsibility than to play the blame game. He probably even realizes its not your fault, but appreciates you stepping up and being the bigger person.

These are all good lessons. If you haven't learned them yet, you will. That being said; it occurs to me that there are some times where it is not only okay, but in fact it's important to point the finger at the person responsible. This whole school bully thing has been eating at me, like it has been for so many people. I think bullies are made not by something that happened TO them, but rather by not learning some important things early in life. This includes not learning sympathy, empathy, self-worth and acceptance of things different than you're used to. Also a concern is for those that have learned racial and religious discrimination. I have to put this out there. These things must be learned from parents. Parent have to take an active role in helping their children to know and feel what sympathy and empathy is. This happens through conversations beginning at an early age - and includes teaching that all people, no matter their race, sex, etc have exactly the same value as anyone else. Teaching that animals' lives have a worth, along with strangers are just as important. Without feeling sympathy or empathy, children actually do not care who they hurt. They aren't the ones feeling the pain and cannot nor do not care what it feels like to the kids they are bullying.

Some say it's about power. They think these kids bully in order not to be bullied. Maybe in some cases. However, I think that it is obvious that there is more to it. A lot more. There is a darkness in them - not an evil cloud or anything, but instead, just an absence of light. The darkness is an empty place that has never been filled. Even worse, some have hatred in that spot. It's hard to imagine, but some parents actually instill hate in their kids. The white supremacists in the U.S. have families and their kids have the same viewpoints as them. Off to a great start. It's like that. Kids are blank slates. They do not know a language when they are born. We teach them whatever language we want them to use. They are not born with religion, we teach them whichever religion we want them to follow. Likewise, they are not born understanding humanity and society. We must teach them how to care. Teach them how to interact and how to be a positive influence on society. If they don't learn it from good parents, who will they learn it from?

Finally, victims of assault - should - and must blame their offender. It can never be the fault of the victim. The best part of pointing the finger though, even if not in a court of law, is that is helps the healing process. You can then forgive yourself and know that you did nothing wrong. Even all the stuff that happens after the incident isn't your fault. It's liberating to realize that all the secondary baggage that comes with an assault is completely normal and is the sole responsibility of the assailant. In regards to this, our society cannot continue to make jokes about assault. Do not make light of these problems. They are very real, and life-changing. Why do we laugh at jokes on TV about priests who molest kids? There is truly nothing funny about it, and those victims cannot heal if they are constantly reminded in the media that the rest of us thinks it's funny.

Sorry for the solemn post. I'll try to make the next one a little lighter :)